Annoying New Habit!

I was quite proud of myself for managing to contain my tears to the odd trail down my cheek today, even with it's accompanying sniffles. 

It was all so overwhelming, and I felt so resoundingly alone, that I really would have preferred nothing better than to curl up into a ball, and wail until I collapsed from exhaustion.

But well, no. No, no, no.

I won't cry that easy, though.

But I was more or less... Say, extremely taken off guard that I nearly broke down crying?

Oh, and somehow, lately, I really develop a new, scary habit...

Well, not that scary... And not that new...

Usually it stop before it goes to far, but the urge inside me somehow got worse...

Or just something near that?

Dunno.

So basically, I notice this painful wounds on my left hand

Not that long, just about 2 or 3 cm in length

There's quite a few of them, and I'm rather concerned about it lately

It has uite a history, I suppose

Actually, for quite a long time, I've been developing a pretty bothersome habit

Not because I want to, though

It must be done, simply cause I got no choice left

Shortly, I scratch my left hand over and over

Usually, there's not much of wounds

Just some bruised, so little and just aching

Somehow, I dunno whether it's because of the problems I'm facing, or just the terrifying feeling of loneliness, but it kinda like, shake my own self pretty badly?

Is that the right way of saying it?

But really, the wound is disgustingly annoying

It hurts like hell!!! >.<

I am terribly scared of the inffection... 

But now it's just like something that I do without knowing...

It's really bothersome, remembering that if mom recognize this wound, I'll get a pretty beautiful punishment later...

Urgh, whatever

Just sharin'