Imaginary Notes part 18

The phone vibrated that morning. Vanz yawned a little and answered. She didn’t bother to look at the recipient, because she was sure as hell that Sebastian would not call her.
"Hello?"
"Hi, Vanz! Rise and shine!"
Vanz froze to the voice. It had been very long, too long. Vanz could not believe this. It was Sebastian!
"Se... Sebastian?"
A giggle. "Yeah, yeah, you're right! Do you eat breakfast?"
Vanz smiled, a tear of happiness fell down her eyes. "Yeah."

A month passed with the same activities. Vanz's actions get better in no time after Sebastian regained his memories, and everyone was happy for them.
Vanz Mezuella was born once again, and the happy Vanz Valentine people used to see was quickly back. Sebastian was popular as usual, and they just continued their normal life.

"I love you," Vanz whispered to his ear, placing her head on his shoulder soon after she put an earphone to his left ear. They were on the chair in the lobby—waiting for Lizzy and Grimsby to finish the payment of their rent of the studio, waiting for James to get back from the toilet and Reo from talking with the manager—it had been a very tiring day.
Sebastian was quiet for a moment. He looked at Vanz quietly, watching every single thing in her.
She was a pure beauty, so cute and innocent, brittle and soft. A very sensitive creature, unlike the kind of girls he had watched in the Korean dramas; quite the opposite.
And he loved this girl...
Right?
He smiled hesitantly. Time to tell her the truth, his mind scolded him badly and gave him an unbearable headache. Time to tell her. "I have something to tell you.”
She smiled. Oh, that smile. How could he ever hurt her like this?
“Yes?”
Preparation for this moment started months ago. He thought out everything, knowing just what to say, how to say it, and when to say it. But when the time came to carry it out, his mind went blank—as he knew it would—leaving Vanz with furrowed eyebrows and himself racking his mind for just for those few words. It seemed like ages that he searched, but to his horror, it all came down to the fact that it was right there in front of him.
The plain, blatant truth. The plain, blatant, inescapable truth.
His heart stopped, time freezing for a moment. “I’m sorry.”
"For what?" She asked, smiling.
"For still not remembering you."
Her immediate question was much faster than he had assumed, waiting more for some spluttering and stutters, but when given a statement as such, the speed of her response would only be reasonable.
“What?” She laughed, she laughed, “What are you talking about, Sebastian? Don’t play around like that, it’s not funny. Come on, let’s..."
Sebastian pushed her a little bit away, but just before, he could feel the uncontrollable trembling in her lips. His own lips were frozen, paralyzed from ever speaking again. At the moment, he had wished that he could never speak again, he had wished that he’d never have to take her down this road again.
But it had been very clear for him.
"I have a favor to ask you."
Sebastian nodded. "Alright? What is it?"
"It's about Senior Vanz," came the amazingly quick reply. "Could you please pretend that you remember her?"
The request was shocking. "Wh... Why?"
"Because she love you and she is so desperate. You need to try hard, for her. She has lots of memories with you. Please, try hard. At least, for a month."
"And what if I can't remember her in a month?" Sebastian asked.
"Tell her the truth. Leave her."
It was easy to predict that Reo had seen them in the audio room. Vanz who laughed painfully in his arms, adding up burdens for any people who saw it. And it should, could and must burdened Sebastian himself the most.
And that, he understand why Vanz had been really patience. She didn’t want to burden him too much, knowing that it was painful enough for him for trying. And he also understand how Vanz gave up on being too nice, and for once that day, she pitied herself.
But what he did right now wasn’t right.
“No, Senior Vanz, no. This is enough. I’m not playing around about this. I’m sorry...”
“What?” There was that question again, that question he didn’t think he’d ever be able to give a suitable answer to. Her hands fell from his face, blinking in disbelief, and even though there were no tears, he could feel her body began to shake, fidgeting uncomfortably in the circle of his arms. “What? I don’t… I don’t understand. I mean—wait, how? How did this all—you can’t do this! Sebastian, I--you can’t do this! How--how could you possibly lie to me?!”
“I just…” Sebastian sighed, readjusting his arms, and pulled her closer, taking the risk of moving a hand to cradle her cheek, watching a tear droplet spill over; I looked away, “I just... It's hard. I had tried hard. Headache.”
He waited, he waited until she would bullet him with more questions, more phrases of disbelief, but after a long silence, she never did. His stomach imploded in on itself, his heart thumping painfully against his ribcage, but if anyone should talk about pain, it shouldn’t be her. And when he finally looked up, he regretted that he ever did.
Vanz had been speaking soundlessly the entire time, silently drowning in her own tears, sobbing in his arms, and all Sebastian could do was watch her, all he could do was watching her trembling lips forming around the word ‘no’, repeating it over and over, her neck straining to keep the sounds in. She shook her head violently from side to side, tears flinging onto the sheets and darkening the fabric in small spots, hands clasped over her eyes as she gasped a strained ‘not again’. He wanted to cry, he really did, but he couldn’t, there was time enough for that later.
What happened in the next few seconds was a blur, time surpassing him as he found himself unable to keep up with it, lost within the storm.
The loud pounding in his ears muffled her screams; the twisting organ within his ribcage muffled all other senses, the world spinning before his eyes. The pain of a hard object clashing against his skull was nothing when compared to the loss of warmth, the loss of himself, as she slipped from his grasp, scrambling away.
Sebastian threw a hand out, his fingers wrapping around her boney wrist, but when he had done this, he had hoped more not to catch her but to catch the falling pieces of her broken heart, his name and another inscribed across the shattered shards.
Mom.
Her name had been crossed out, but then she’d erased the penciled line with which she crossed it out, but she wrote it again. Over and over like a Love Me flower, until only one petal remained. She didn’t cross her name out, nor did she erase the line with which she crossed it, but simply erased her name completely, the marks and lines fading, like a memory.
Sebastian Mezuella
What would happen to his name?
Without even knowing exactly what he must remember and why, he felt the huge pressure inside him. Something was screaming, yelling in pity for miracle. Begging for time. Begging for forgiveness.