Moving On Part 4

~Isaac~

Run, Isaac, run. That's the only thing you could mind right now. The silvered light from the moon between the lavenders of clouds was the only way you could see in that darkness. And on top of it, rain seems not going to stop.

Run, Isaac, run! You tried to run as fast as you can, even though it was over your limit even as an amateur athlete. Nevertheless, you need to be faster.

You are so confused and lost, and the noisy traffic make it worse. When the last time you felt this? You couldn't remember. As long as you lived, this was the worst thing ever happened. But no matter how much you regret it, you need to run.

Run, Isaac, run!!

~

You tiptoed across the living room, your hand brought a bag pack full of unnecessary things, also a pocket with some money from your whole-life savings and snacks. It was so early in the morning, and you are really sure that your parents won't wake up because of your voice or the sound of door creaking later.

You will run away from the home. At least you planned to. Life’s getting hard with people asking you over and over about your feelings. So you would simply run and move to the school dormitory. Run away from your home, from your beloved parents. Then you will work, whatever it is, to continue living.

It was cold, still, although it was some ten minutes past one am on 7 May, which was Sunday night, or rather, Monday morning. As you began to felt the cold dew of the night, you started to miss your home sweet home. The street was dark, and the mud from the rain last day made a hard path to the bar. Oh, you wish your parents was more intellectuals than you are, so they will understand your feelings over him, and then, you don't need to sneak out like this tonight.

You felt stupid.

Did the bunny worth it that much?

But as your white pale legs ate up some miles again to the bar, you realized she did.

You love her, after all.

~

Everyone in the train was using earphones. And beside that, everyone there pretend to read their books, even though you know that most of them just do it to avoid any conversation. Don't know if it was because of the language they used were different, or just too lazy to start. Which of those doesn't matter, no one cares.

Paris was not a nice place to visited at this moment. Bad environment, bad people, bad attitude. But your mother don't care. She thinks that you need a lot of experience outside the house since you have some kind of really bad homesickness.

Yeah, well, you thought, at least wait until I reached 10! You’re not even 9 years old yet!

“We will arrive at the station in five minutes.”

You smiled at the little turtle, and whispered that you two would be home in another minutes. But in fact you lied, trying to convinced yourself in that sentence that your dorm is your home, and unfortunately, that doesn't work. All you possibly need was rest, and unfortunately, that won't happen real quick, because your apartment was located far away from the station and you got homework to do.

You sighed heavily.

“Tourist, right?”

You turn your head and your eyes found a beautiful girl at your age, smiling. She wasn't too skinny, and she has those creme fair skin and a cute smile. Her eyes were sparkling, her cherry lips curved into the most beautiful smile you have ever seen.

And in a moment, you fell for her.

~

His name is Claire Stanley.

You are happy to know that she was going to the same school as you do. And you’re happier when you know she’s from the same city as you too.

I’m Isaac Woodrow, you introduced yourself, and she smiled brightly.

Please take care of me!

~

She liked pink. She’s rather tomboy. She learned wushu. She loved cute things.

You laughed.

It was a night full of star, and the dark sky make everything seems more painful. In such a bright night, you were sitting there, in the corner of the bar, drinking a bottle of gin alone. You yawned for the third time in that bar. You knew what it means. You glanced at your watch, and read: 12.38.

That bar was Lola's, your brother’s girlfriend, located near the park in the middle of the town, decorated beautifully with some dim lamp and nice looking bar sign, 'Special'. It was originally built in 1989, before it was renew by her father. Then it was Lola's after her father passed away.

You yawned again, and your mind brought you back to 12 hours ago, when you received your brother’s call.

Vince’s dying. He’s at the hospital now. Claire’s there too.

You sighed and drank your gin again, and called the bartender.

You saw this coming. Not this bad, but you definitely saw it coming. Anna’s death was shocking, and you are seriously not the only one shocked about it. If even you were so shocked about it though you only see her once in your life, the oh-so-loved Vince would seriously be in deep sorrow.

And the phone call is enough as prove your simple prediction.

“Tequila Sunrise, please,”  you said to the bartender.

“No more gin?”

The voice startled you, but you forced a smile. “Kinda bored with it, Lola. It’s kinda rare to see you here.”

“Oh, yeah,” she showed her dimple smile. “Cesare said he’ll be late today, so I thought I could check the bar. And well, to check on you too.”

“I see,” you said, drinking the last gin on your table.

“You drink much,” she said concernly. “I heard about Claire from Cesare. Terribly sorry.”

“Na-ah. Just not meant to be,” you laughed weakly.

“Isaac, don’t be like that,” Lola frowned, hands reaching out to cupped your face, staring to your eyes directly. “You’ll find your happiness. I’m sure.”

You just have no idea how complicated it is, you thought.

“Yeah, thanks,” you said.

“Isaac, list...” She tried to say, but you cut her off.

“Why would he be late anyway?” You asked her.

“Oh, you mean Cesare? He just visited Vince at the hospital. He said Claire was there too, and she was quite... You know,” She hesitated for a moment before continuing, “Terrible.”

You shook your head a little, smiling forcedfully. “I suppose so.”

Lola sighed, waving her hand at the bartender. “The drink’s on me,” she said as she stood up. “Isaac, just think wisely, okay? Behind her wushu and all things, you know how fragile Claire is.”

The word suddenly make you feel unwell.

Fragile, eh?

“Gotta go home now, Cesare’s probably home already,” she smiled. “G’night, Isaac.”

“Yeah, good night,” you said, taking the Tequilla Sunrise from the table and drank it all at once. With that, you stood up, making your way to the hotel.

~

You couldn’t sleep. Your little heart prevent you to do so.

Claire was everything to you.

Why would you even want to be with her? You could choose anyone in this world, yet your heart picked her as soon as you see her. Why? She got nothing special. There’s a lot a people that could do wushu, could compose songs, could play guitar, could sing, and you realized that they might be far better than Claire.

So why?

I’m so sorry, Claire, you thought. Though I’m older than you, I’m not mature yet.

You couldn’t explain things like this. Why you like her? Why  couldn’t you just left her alone? Maybe she could be happy without you. Maybe then you too, could be happy.

You laughed as you took the phone. Silly, isn’t it?

You dialed the hospital number and waited.

“Hello?”

You realized how silly you are. “Can I talk to Claire, please? Lee Claire, he’s in Vince Rickenbackers’s room.”

“Claire Stanley? Ah, the blonde one? I don’t think you could speak to her now.”

You frowned. “Why?”

“She said she’ll be on the roof.”

She said she’ll be on the roof.

The words spinned in your head.

She was quite... You know. Terrible.

It can’t be it... Right?

Behind her wushu and all things, you know how fragile Claire is.

Shit.

~

Why now... This happened?

Your feet moved quickly, your steps are brutal. Run, Isaac, run. The street are crowded and noisy, which is usual since you’re in the middle of the town. Why was your heart beating so fast? Why couldn’t you feel or hear anything around you?

Why now... Tears... Began to flow?

Right. You’re still thinking about it.

No matter how much time you tried to deny, you still couldn’t just left her. You really wanted to cry back then. Her, pushing you away, there’s nothing you wanted than to cry. You tried to hate her, but it didn’t seem to work. Why?

You want her. You want her to be yours only. But how could you be so selfish? Though being with you, if she isn’t the same Claire you know... If she didn’t smile... If she didn’t love you back, what is it mean being together then?

But now... After all that had happened... Could she see you?

Run, Isaac, run! You were running, stumbling more than once, scrambling with your feet. You panicked, bursting through all the crowds, running as fast a possible as if all the demons of every nightmare you ever dreamed were chasing you.

Because you... Wanna be with her a little longer.

Hospital isn’t that much further. You must reach it on time. Claire, Claire Stanley. The name was almost a scream in your mind, Not now. Not like this. You didn’t want to lose her.

Run, Isaac, run!

Will she love you someday?

You opened the door to the hospital, panting as you asked the stair to the roof, and ran your way up. You feet were hurt, it was almost as if it will all break before you even reached your final destination. But no. You need to keep going.

If you become taller... If you stop liking turtles... And become a full grown up person in everyone's eyes... Will she like you, then? With all your selfishness these day, would she?

Not much further. Hurry up! You can do it, idiot, so speed up a little bit!

Actually you know... That even with all your selfishness... You still want her to be happy... Even not with you...

But it’s okay. If you two become together, maybe there would be a day where you become a special person of Claire...

You don’t have any reason to give up so quickly anymore.

RUN!

~

How much it takes for a miracles? Is it counted in money? Or is it just some sort of luck? Does it depend on how much wrongs you committed, or how much kindness you manage to do in your life? Which one then?

Ah, whatever it cost... You begged for a single wish to be granted.

“Claire!!”